


The Potion

by Accidental_Child



Series: D. Gray Man Shorts [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Coming Out, Crack, Kidnapping, M/M, Paperwork Destruction, Potions, The Research Division
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 09:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidental_Child/pseuds/Accidental_Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Kanda and Allen being little shits.</p>
<p>Created for the prompt '114. Get Cross to announce that he is now stopping drinking and has turned homo for Komui'</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Potion

**Author's Note:**

> This is originally a spin off for a story I did on Fanfiction.net years ago under the same name. This is about three years old, I think.

Allen and Kanda had a fantastic plan to ruin Cross’s reputation. They had put a lot of thought into this. The plan was flawless. It would work. It had to.

The first step was to kidnap Komui.

 

***

 

Komui was, as usual, asleep with his face stuck in a pile of paperwork. Allen and Kanda sneaked through the huge piles of paperwork that covered every single thing in Komui’s office, and up to the sleeping chief.

Allen quickly tied up Komui with the ease of someone who had done it many times before. Kanda shot Allen a strange look(for Kanda), but Allen just mouthed “later”.

Kanda reached down to grab Komui, and accidentally knocked down a lamp.

Komui woke up with a jerk. “What are you d…” he started to say, before being interrupted by Allen’s hands over his mouth.

“Be quiet. We want you to make us a potion. If you make any noise, we will knock you unconscious.” he hissed.

Komui nodded fearfully.

“Good.”

The trip down to the labs was harder than it should have been. Komui was heavy. Komui was loud. Komui kept on moving. Eventually, after four escape attempts and some groping, the three arrived at one of the spare labs. It was the middle of the night, so no one was there (for once).

Kanda set Komui down in front of one of the tables not covered in half completed paperwork and Allen started talking. “Now, we want you to make…”

 

***

 

Many tiring hours later, Komui had finally completed the potion. Just in time too, as it was 8am.

“Could you pleeease tell me what you’re going to do with this? Pleeese?”

Komui had been trying to get them to tell him why they wanted the potion for the last few hours and Kanda was at his limit. “SHUT UP!” He growled, “OR I WILL CUT YOUR HEAD OFF AND PIN IT TO A WALL!”

Komui stopped speaking.

“Shhhhh,” Allen motioned for Kanda to be quiet. “If you don’t keep your voice down, someone will find us.”

Kanda stopped speaking.

“Let’s get ready!” There was an evil gleam in Allen’s eye. Komui shivered in trepidation.

 

***

 

The potion that Komui made was simple. All it did was make the drinker identical to someone else, while keeping the original person’s mind. All that was needed was a hair from the person they wanted to be identical to.

On second thoughts, it wasn’t really that simple.

 

***

 

Kanda pulled a few hairs out of Komui’s head, and Allen pulled out one of Cross’s hairs. They split the potion in two, and both dropped the hair they were holding into their own beakers of potion. Allen would be ‘Cross’, because he knew all about how Cross acts (cue bad memories). Kanda would be ‘Komui’.

The two smirked at each other, Allen’s smirk somehow more evil than Kanda’s, and the two gulped down the potion. It tasted vile.

Allen could feel his bones popping, his hair lengthening, and his clothes suddenly got too small. Kanda stripped Komui, and changed into the clothes. Allen pulled out one of his master’s spare uniforms that he had swiped, and put them on. Allen walked around a bit, until he was sure he could copy his master’s walk whilst Kanda did the same. Komui stared in utter disbelief. Even thinking of what those two could possibly do was scaring him.

Stage one complete.

 

***

 

Kanda left first for the cafeteria. He needed to get there first, to announce ‘Cross’s’ arrival. Allen soon followed. ‘Cross’ sat at the head table, next to ‘Komui’. He then stepped onto the table, and coughed a bit to get everyone’s attention.“I want to make an announcement. I have decided to quit drinking.”

The jaws of everyone in the cafeteria dropped. If they thought that this was shocking, what he said next was even more so.

“I have gone homo for Komui.” He then, in front of everyone, leaned down to French Kiss ‘Komui’. ‘Komui’ struggled at first, then relaxed into ‘Cross’s’ embrace.

Some people started fainting. Some people got nose bleeds.

Finally, the two separated. ‘Cross’ lifted ‘Komui’ bridal style. When the two had arrived back in the lab, they started laughing, hard.

Komui stared. Again. He seemed to be doing that a lot.

After another ten minutes, they changed back into their original bodies. They quickly changed back into their own clothing, and left Komui to escape the ropes on his own. Before they left they decided to explain what they did, seeing as it wasn’t Komui’s choice to get kidnapped.

Komui was still staring. When he got his voice back, he asked “Would you mind untying me?”

He was completely ignored so instead he sniffed and started crying. “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” He shouted through his tears. “I’ve always had a crush on him!”

Allen wondered how it was possible to feel attracted to Cross. Then he stopped as it was causing his brain to ache.

Komui did The Worm out of the lab, and back to his office, whistling.

Allen and Kanda had sex with the knowledge of a prank well done, right there on the half completed paperwork. Success.

 

***

Aftermath:

When the researchers returned to the lab they wept, because all of the work from the previous day had been ruined by something (or someone).

Cross’s reputation was ruined. Komui was really happy. When Cross arrived back at the Order, Komui forcibly kissed him.

It turned out that Cross was homo for Komui after all.


End file.
